That Fish Cray!

***FYI, if you want to read this in chronological order, scroll down and read from the bottom up :) ***

Well, this is it. I had an epic time writing and exploring my own thoughts on society's influence/views of mental health and hope everyone enjoyed reading through some of it.  I plan on continuing this as it helps me process and I love hearing everyone's thoughts! So feel free to follow if you would like!

Thanks for being awesome!

Heath Legge
MA- Coun. Psych Candidate
University of Denver

PS: In light of this blog's title, here is a last bit of humor :)




THIS IS SPARTA! Oh, and don't touch the lava guys... Spartans hate lava.

Well, my assignment is due tomorrow, so I will be submitting this blog to my professor after work tonight.  However, remember that internship site I was hoping to land?  Well, I was offered the position and today was my first day!  It was AWESOME!  I feel so lucky to be at a location that is pushing for integrated care.  I actually got to sit in on assessments with a psychiatrist all afternoon!  Seeing the medical model in play is a little different than I anticipated.  I expected it to be dry, emotionless, and almost boring.  However, I am also lucky to be working under a psychiatrist with so much passion for his patients, which was made evident by his communication with me regarding their behavior, affect, etc.  I was like "Your the doc!  This isn't my model. Why are you asking me questions?" Anyway, it made me very aware of the presumptions I had entering those bolt doors the first time and wonder how much of this attitude contributes to the battle between mental health models.

Let's make this a little more personal.  Many of you who may know me might also know that I am considering attending medical school after I complete my MA in CP-Clinical Mental Health.  What are your thoughts on this concept?  I have this internal battle that I cannot seem to resolve because it is difficult to formulate my own beliefs based on the kinetic forces of society.  Yes, society bullies this idea through media, money, you name it!  Why is it that a medical-behavioral type model is treated like the cracks in a tile floor?  Lava!  No one wants to touch it.  I "feel" like this is the next step in psych-treatment and I so want to be a part of it, but I don't know where to start!  I don't want to start a debate, I'm more curious about where you stand on this idea.

Maybe you are wondering "Why do you even want to touch the lava?" Well, as an example, treatment was very segregated at my practicum site last academic year in that there was very little communication between the psychiatrist and therapist (myself).  Now, you might be thinking, "Well that's what integrated treatment is for.... duh!"  Yes yes, but what if both modes of treatment could be done by one person?  One person, one model.  That totally sounds like a chant Spartans would yell before war, haha.  "One person!  One model!"  How would society view this model?  Would it start out as a scientific abomination as we have seen in the past?

It looks like my questions outweigh the amount of discussion in this post, but hey, sometimes there's not much difference between questions answers, right?


Smoke that paper!... I mean, write that paper... or yeah... awkwarrrrd

I'll start off with the fact that moving to Colorado was quite the change for me.  Yeah, the food is different, there seems to be an over abundance of Subaru Outbacks on the road, and... oh yeah, weed.  I seriously hot box in my truck when I drive down Broadway!  I'm sure all you Denver locals know what I'm talking about.  So let's relate this back to mental health.  There are quite a few directions I thought of taking this post, but decided to just go with it and see what happens.  Does substance abuse belong in mental health?  There is an overwhelming amount of evidence suggesting that it does!  But, does substance use belong in MH?  I turn to the medical model when faced with this dilemma, but even that does not present a clear answer since it is hard for me fully invest in it.

Who believes in the medicinal use of THC? "Whoa whoa whoa! Did he just say 'believe'?"  Why yes I did!  This is one of the most prominent memories of thought I have from when I first arrived in Colorado.  Not even the medical model provides a clear response to this, which makes the uprising in addiction treatment even more rowdy!  Furthermore, should addiction be considered a diagnosis?

Another topic that comes to mind is the debate as to weather substance abuse should be referred to as "addiction" or "dependence".  Working with substance abuse clients in has drastically changed my view of this argument... And by "changed" I mean I don't really know what to think anymore.  It's like walking up hill in both directions.  F*** it!  I'm taking the elevator.

This is a short entry, but would be interested in hearing everyone's thoughts.  Specifically those relating to experiences you might have had when marijuana was legalized.  Also, here is some music for you!  The song is called Sonne (meaning "Sun" aus Deutsch!) by Rammstein.  To my understanding, it's basically a poetic depiction of the fall of the Berlin Wall, but blankets it by comparing Germany's political state at a time to a drug over dose Just something to think about! Enjoy:)


Let's talk about di-ver-sit-y, Let's talk about you and me!

Ok ok, I know, cheesy title, but shall we?  When you are dealing with anything having to do with mental health today, you know it's going to come up.  That one word that you'll never fully understand.  The concept that you'll never have full competence in.  Yeah, you know the one.... DIVERSITY!  There, I said it.  It's hard to hit every aspect of diversity in one blog entry, but we spend a fair amount of time looking at ourselves when prepping to practice in the field.  So maybe take a step back and think to yourself for a moment, "How do I relate to diversity?"............  Have you given up yet?  I'll be honest and say that I had a hard time doing this when it popped into my head today.  Being white, male, middle class, average hight (I like to think so anyway), doesn't give me much wiggle room in that part of the field.  Sometimes I feel guilty because I'll never understand what "It's" like.  This has probably been one of the most frustrating parts of my education as I enter the mental health field.  So, let me propose this;  does the word "diversity" not depict a grouping of differences?  However, somehow when I thought about how I relate to diversity I mainly thought about the similarities I have to others and how I "have no culture" to myself.  Whaaaaaaaa???

So now what?  Well, this bothered me throughout most of the day until I thought to replace "diversity" with "individualism".  As clinicians, we are supposed to treat the client/ patient and not the culture right?  This hit me when I was approached by an individual about my tattoos this afternoon.  Yup, someone was actually interested in something I consider to be a part of my "culture" and was genuinely curious about it.  Furthermore, she complemented me on subject!  I was like, "Who are you?"  I realized that I was so foreign to the concept of having a piece of diversity to me that I was completely taken back.  Yes yes, I've been approached about my tattoos many times before, but not like this.  I usually get the "Sweet tat, dude!", or "Did it hurt?"  This was different in that I felt part of a community.

Ok, what else makes me an individual rather than diverse?  Hmmmm.... Well, music is a huge part of my life.  Specifically electronic dance music (EDM).  I love that s***! The high energy.  The intensity.  It's addicting.  I started diving into this genre of music at age 10 and my parents definitely had one eyebrow raised the entire time.  Being different/individualistic/expressive is abnormal right? But where do we draw the line?  Hold on, let me check the DSM..... Social anxiety disorder-NOS. I knew it!  Anyway,  as I reminisce, there are no rules and there are no limits to EDM music festivals.  All social standards and expectations are suspended.  The hardest part is giving into self-expression.  Who would have thought?!  But that's what is so intoxicating for me!  Is this what it "feels" like to be diverse?  Is this a "feeling" that I should strive to bring out through empathy with clients?

How will this affect me as a counselor?  How will this affect my clients?  Is it a good thing?  Is it a bad thing? :/  Should I just "thow'em up" and roll with it?  I'll disclose that my tattoos have played a very positive roll in the rapport I share with my clients, but is this diversity in a sort of reverse play?  I would be interested in hearing what you guys have to say on the subject.  What are some of your own experiences similar to this?

PS: This is the EDM song that got me hooked.  Thought I'd share it with you all for your listening pleasure!



Psychosis as a weapon.... lock and load!

So when you think of psychology, psychosis, psychiatry, psychotic, psych-name a suffix, what words comes to mind?  Might some be "crazy", "insane", "my mother"?  At least in some contexts, that's what pops into my head, but is that string of thoughts really just a harmless string of thoughts?  Guess what, thoughts are powerful, especially in numbers! And you're not the only one thinking this way.  It is hard for me not to see what is happening in mental health as revolutionary warfare over how it is defined.  What is real?  What's the right word?  How bold/grey should the diagnosis line be?  "But my client only has 2/5 required symptoms when they need at least 3! Ugh, just one more symptom, that all we need!"  It's like an endless well of stairs that's avoided because everyone just takes the elevator.  I know we are all guilty of that!  Especially when you just picked up your pumpkin spice latte (PSL) at Starbucks (SB) and have a giant stack of papers regarding today's client load. Seriously, you don't want to spill your PSL, nor do you want to drop your client's paper work, so why fight it right?  Sorry for being a bit poetic, but this is war!

I came across this idea out of the blue today at Starbucks, so not only is the PSL reference appropriate, but it also got me to think that what if we are not "treating" mental illness?  What if we are at war with the natural course of evolution?  I have heard "humans will be the end of themselves" in every biological evolution course I have taken and I have found it super-dooper hard to integrate the idea into psychology (I would really like to hear everyone's thoughts on this).  So what questions does this make you think of?  I want to say that mental health treatment is right in its cause, but is it right in its direction?  Should mandated treatment be a thing?  Should natural development be included in a person's autonomy?  I don't know why I keep hitting on the gray areas of psychological health practice, as I did last time, but deal with it!

Alright, lets step back from the deep existential thought.  Aside from my epic love for PSLs, I also have a love for helping others just like many of us in this field.  However,  when I think of this as a war and mental health diagnosis as a weapon, things change a little.  I feel uneasy, hesitant, and just.... blah.  Know what I mean jelly bean?  (Yeah, that rhymes)  I'm not sure how this might affect my work as a counselor.  Is it better to have a firm belief and direction in this regard?  Or is it better to remain open in some/all cases?  Ahhh!  I'm going to explode!  I shouldn't have gotten that extra shot of espresso at SB today.


Good thing "that" happened

Hello everyone!  Well, I've always been one to journal, but never one to make it public.  Freedom of thought is a hobby of mine and I'll do my best to walk you through some of those that have a related depiction of mental health and how it is viewed by society today.  Oh, and by the way you should probably be ready for some humor, sarcasm, and possibly some bad grammar /syntax here and there. Hopefully it keeps you on your toes!  Here we go!...

So, today was my first day paying a visit to what is hopefully going to be my internship site!  It is equivalent to a psychiatric hospital, which for whatever "crazy" reason (probably the lamest play on words ever) I have always dreamed of working in.  I'm fascinated with everything about it!  From the methods of treatment to the facility's structure itself!  But why?  Why am I so enthralled by something that has been viewed as inhumane, torturous, dark, scary, dangerous, unkept, creepy, sketchy, dirty, unhealthy, and whatever else Hollywood has worked so hard to make us believe?  Well, lets be honest, because that actually happened.  Lobotomies, imprisonment, restraints, the whole nine yards!  You name it, humans have done it!  Yay! Aren't you proud to be a part of such an innovative species?  Ok, a little dark sarcasm there, but look how far mental health and medicine have come!

Ok, back to it, so after I get past the second set of bolt doors to enter the facility, my heart is beating with excitement, but then this thought hits me!  What if this were 60 years ago?  Would I have been walking into what I've seen in movies?  How accurately did that History and Systems of Psychology textbook describe this stuff?  You guys know what I'm talking about.  Would there be some guy behind bars talking about how his pet chair taught him how to cook roman noodles with a box of Fruit Loops and a button?  Were Fruit Loops even a thing back then?!? Don't worry, there were no bars, no "crazy" guy talking to himself, turns out there were just people.

Mental Health would not be where it is today without history, even though that history breaks my heart when it comes to mind. I'll stop there for today... Good thing that happened.